the Smashing of the Homie

 I really dont understand why girls are no longer keeping the Pussy exclusive...I mean I love being that girl that a guy still wants years later because I didnt feel the need to have sex with him a few days after he met me, or the 1st night...Even if I really like a guy Ill still wait..there was one time that I didnt and the poor guy was horrible ( Im not a big sexual person at anytime to tell the truth I mean  8 times out if 10 the guy brags and goes on and on and ends up being quick or not expirenced enough ) I dont like guys with really big ones because to me that hurts and its uncomfortable to me Im not one who prefers pain over plesure I want it to feel good...I will go on to say the guy I am with now it most def a pefect fit and we have really good sex...not saying all other in y life were bad but he just feels perfect. I can say I havent had sex with alots of guys I lost my virginity at 18 I was a senior in high school and my high school sweetheart took my virginity ( I hated his guts from freshmen to pretty much junior year so we rally had grown on each other b4 we even fell in love and had sex) lol but I can honestly say Im not a freak in the sheets its not in my personality to chase dick or be the type to say I need some lol...Yes I do had the urge some times and Ill hint to my boyfriend that I want to but Im just def not the aggressive type I love when its more or less love making then fcuking or having sex more sensual and meaningful that feels best to me...Theres so many girls who Ive heard talked about like they were even human beings only a piece of meat between guys and It made me feel really sad for them only in hopes they never hear these guys talking about them. I just have a little less respect for girls who do that...its degrading how can you take pride in having a Pussy (i call it a Nah-Nah lol)) if u give it away all the time. Its no longer special, no longer appreciated, or holding high worth...A lady should always be wanted but many females today are HAD!

.2010

This was the 1st blessing of the New Year

Nyhla

born 1.7.2010

Shes such a little Angel i call her "Sweet Pea"!

Shes my best friends baby...

defensiveGIRL.

So I know it not always the right way to handle life but is it wrong to always be on the defensive side? There is alot of manipulative people in the world. Some people always have motives and cant be trusted. Im sorry for this stereotype but "all dudes are DOGS" and if not all 89% or somewhere beyond that We all and if not all ALOT of us have had our heart broken from the false hope of love someone gave us...Being defensive might not be the best way to approach a situation but it most def the most safe. I admit I dont always follow that rule cause I do put myself in situations where If things go wrong on the defensive side was obviously the last way I was thinking, but still i cant always account for making responsibe decisions..You will always be left wondering What if...If you do...I would like to say growing up with a step dad instead of a Real [real meaning biological daddy] has ALOT to do with it...&& yes i say daddy cause anyman can be a father (that only requires sperm), but it takes a hell of a man to be called a daddy ( that has meaning) its said from the mind of small or young child (nothings more pure than that)...Ofcourse girls have played a role in my defensiveness too people who "pretended to be my friend" only to back stab...I guess ALL THOSE THINGS have a key role in the life of a "defensiveGIRL"!

I prolly shouldnt have signed on this site from this computer....#fail all in the history ugh!

What's In a Female Friend

                          So Through my 22 years of life i have had two girls Ive called my best friend for the last 8 years of my life their names are Nicole and LaTeesha. Ive ofcourse trusted many girls in between who ended up showing me they didnt deserve the trust I gave them. They are not the point nor my actual best friends I have mentioned, My question in this blog is simply "Whats in a female friend?" Someone  you can trust and tell secrets to, or maybe someone you can truly express yourself to, someone who knows your deepest insecurites? Or someone who knows you better than you know yourself, maybe even someone who you want better things for than you want for yourself! This I really dont know I think with some girls life itself is a competetion and therefor they will never have a "true" best friend because jealously and envy will soon ruin any relationship its present in...I quess I have my own outlook on what a bestfriend should be, because even on Sex and The City Carrie has had trials and tribulations with the rest of the ladies...So ofcourse a drama free 100% happy best friendship is not in exsistance...but is atleast 99% to much to ask.....?  Until this is answered I'll be my own VERY BEST FRIEND 100%

A Hundred and Thirteen Pounds of HeLL in HeeLs!

Shes Back Bitches!

Young && Single?

So the main issue in my life right now is my relationship. I love my boyfriend to death, but i feel like I have been in meaningful relationship since i was like 17 years old and I am 21 now. I feel like there is a whole new me I need to get to know. The whole comming into adult hood thing. I havent focused on me 100% since i was a little girl (16/17-ish) && I feel like its time I found me! Dont get me wrong I love my man more than anything in the world he is the SWEETEST thing i have ever met spoils me, supports me, LOVES && MAKES LOVE to me. I couldnt ask to me meet a more lovely person i swear. Its just the want to be myself and do more things for and by myself. He doesnt feel that way but if you ask me WE both need to work on our selves seperately! Im just really torn in two different directions right now and its EXTRA HARD